Ask Amanda Jane: Workplace Wendy

Amanda Jane,
I work with the most old and fuddy duddy man, he was hired because of his decades of experience working with the public.... but he can't think out of the box to save his life. I work in a male dominated field and he treats me like I’m the "girl with the cute silly ideas". He constantly speaks over me in meetings, and then if an idea fails (because they are so slow and out-dated) he uses me as the scapegoat in front of our boss, and says I just didn't understand. I’m so sick of working with him! What do I do?
-Workplace Wendy


Wendy,

I think you are running into another classic case of someone who “looks better on paper!” Sure, his resume and experience got him the job- but it sounds like his interpersonal skills are seriously out-of-date. Blaming it on his age is no excuse! There are plenty of seasoned workers that know how to co-exist with younger (and gasp! female!) co-workers. I’m not entirely shocked that somebody so unadaptable was looking for a new job at this later stage in his career. An important aspect of the modern workforce is adaptability and it doesn't sound like this man is looking for such growth. But, that will likely be his downfall as well.

Unfortunately, you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. Nor is it your job to do so! Although, you work in a male dominated field you did not state that anyone but this creep has given you any trouble (so I’m going to assume that is the case.) Your boss wouldn't have hired you and kept you on payroll if you were half as incompetent as this fellow seems to think you are. There is undoubtedly a sexist attitude when it comes to this guy (whether or not it’s intentional I don’t know, nor does it matter).

The point is, the way he treats a female mind in the workplace is blatantly obvious and annoying to you. Although his treatment is more pronounced when dealing with you, I’m still willing to bet you aren't the only person he talks over and throws under the bus. He’s like that kid on the playground that has no problem playing tag, until it is his turn to be it. If he is as bad as you are saying, everyone knows it is him and not you because your work ethic and attitude speaks for itself. There is no need to be combative, but don’t let him walk all over you. Step up to the plate and be unflinchingly specific when dealing with him. Keep notes and always know your actual role in the project, be honest in your capabilities and contributions. Adapt the way you deal with him, by not letting him get under your skin. Everyone around you can surely (or will surely) see him for what he really is.

You stated yourself, he “can’t think outside of the box to save his life” and it’s true- he has built these walls of preconceived notions and self-importance built around himself. His inability to adapt will surely not lead to a big promotion any time soon.

Sincerely,
Amanda Jane

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