Tuesday, March 10, 2015

A Trick To Stop Office Gossip

Want to know a great easy trick for stopping gossip about another coworker?

Here's the trick that works every time.....

Genuine kindness.

Genuine kindess is the best weapon against work place drama and gossip.

Work gossip is unavoidable. It's human nature to talk about people with other people, it's one of the easiest things to bond over, and you won't ever be able to stop that. But the kind of gossip (or speaking ill of another) that makes a work situation bad, where you find it unpleasant to be there, can be changed.

In a small department a single person who praises people behind their back instead of criticizing can change a whole work department dynamic, I have witnessed this at almost every job I've had. Kindness creates more kindness. And when there is an individual everyone loves talking bad about, or making fun of when they are away, a single person can say something nice, change the subject to something else, or quietly remove themselves from the conversation. Typically one person gently shutting down opportunities to say something bad can have a very positive effect on a group. If that doesn't stop a group of people from gossiping... at least it will stop people from gossiping directly to you. Over time people will notice, admire, and remember you as someone who never spoke ill of someone else.

Genuine kindness is key here too, but it is going to take some effort. If there is someone who completely rubs you the wrong way, and you can't stand to be around them or work with them... and all you want to do is vent about it to someone who understands... here is what you do. You start looking at them and noticing them with kind eyes, look for something that is good about them and focus on that. I have been amazed at how my perspective of people has completely changed when I look for the good in them.
I used to have this manager that I couldn't stand, like at all. I hated him so much that it started to effect me outside of work. I didn't like the negativity I felt and decided I needed to change it. I remember lying in bed one night thinking about this particular manager and praying to know how to treat him better. I started making a positive list in my head about him, instead of the giant negative one I was brooding over... and, I tell you what, it started to make my heart fill light and happy. It was a relief to focus on something that was good instead of mean. The next time I saw him at work I could be genuinely warm and kind with him. People can tell when you don't like them and you are faking it... and other coworkers can see it too. I was able to say nice things about him when he wasn't around, and actually mean them, it helped bring a lot good vibes to the department.

Be kind and be genuine... your work life will be simpler and you'll be happier.


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