I do like the new smiths market place. I like the sushi bar, the huge make-up selection, that they carry pee chee folders for 59 cents, and how there are trash cans at the end of each aisle. But~ tonight at Smiths I couldn't find any exacto-knives that didn't come with a little cutting board already.. obnoxious! I need 3 exacto-knives and I don't want 3 little cutting boards to go with them! I already have a jumbo cutting board at home! And they didn't have valve adapters for my bike! Where is the variety, Smiths?There have been days when I've boycotted stores for less than this, good thing they already won my heart over with the pee chee folders.
I think the idea of boycotting places is fantastic, by the way. I love that I am egotistical enough to think that my absence is going to make a difference. But I really do love having that attitude, and I love when my friends do the same thing. Like when Amanda tells me she isn't going to patronize smiths anymore because they only sell skim milk in the 1/2 gallon, and no one can tell her why! In my mind I'm like "yeah, yeah, you show em', girl". I also like that Amanda and I swagger into JCW's for a late night cheeseburger (last night) and contemplate blacklisting them for hanging up cheesy college decor around the ceiling! How dare they clutter up our burger joint with crap like that?!
Some of my favorite comical moments come from being irate enough to boycott establishments, weather you mean it or not, it's one of my favorite jokes.
examples:
- elaine benes, got bad customer service at Putumayo (the ethnic-themed clothing store), so not only does she stop shopping there, she tries to put it out of business. (actually, there are a lot of examples of this in seinfeld)
- "hey! you're not doing my laundry, I'm outta here." - doodle
- when kohlers' machines break down and they only accept cash and check. "I don't carry checks, I'm under the age of fifty!" - amanda (note, amanda is back to shopping at kohlers because of the recent smiths incident mentioned above)
- my dad refuses to go into albertsons because of their albertsons card.
Wow, so this blog post got really long, I really wasn't prepared to write all that. What I wanted to say is that I went into Kohlers two nights in a row last week and was ACCUSED both nights of being a TRAITOR and working at the new smiths!!! What???I am hurt to think that my kohlers compatriots even could question my loyalty. I don't know who is spreading these malicious rumors about me, but I am going to find who they are and... and... suffocate them with a smiths marketplace plastic bag!!!!
Okay, that doesn't even make sense. And I would never smother anyone with a plastic bag, the worse I could do was give someone a paper cut with a paper bag, and I wouldn't even ever do that!
I like Smiths, but not enough to defect. It could never replace the Kohlers in my heart. Plus, I can't swagger about in Smiths like I can in Kohlers.
Swagger? I'm using this word because I hear it in so many pop songs these days. I don't know why it all of sudden is the new hip word, but I'm okay with it.
SWAG*GER
(verb)
1. to walk or strut with a defiant or insolent air.
2. to boast or brag noisily.
(noun)
3. swaggering manner, conduct, or walk; ostentatious display of arrogance and conceit.
This is so true the lists of establishments I've blacklisted are long and never-ending. I don't know what I've accomplished by any of them. I do feel a tad Seinfeldish. But you know what they say once a renegade, always a renegade (Remember when Rick called us renegades and we took it to heart? Do they still make Renegade pencils? I loved those.)
ReplyDeleteFor such a big store that Smith's has NO variety. Don't even get me started...If I want to chose from 8different kinds of curly noodles I should.
If Kohler's stops selling glass Cokes I don't know where I'll shop.
i hope that the "i love nate evans" on the folder is authentic. i love the laundry boycott mention too. i have an ex-acto knife if you need to use one.
ReplyDeletei love whitney orton
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry whitney but you are confusing me. . my laundry? Did i say that? and to whom? and why is Laura loving it?
ReplyDeleteI would also like to say that i my heart was broken driving down by the new wall mart by lone peak, I vow this day i will never go in there, just like i will never travel down Caddie lane, places of my childhood now growing and changing in ways that taint little communities and i, like you, feel like my own protest will make a difference.
I'm not much of a boycotter, but, if something has a funny commercial, I purchase it just to say, "Thank you for that funny commercial." I have purchased 7 up because of that, and I don't even like 7 up. And the most recent (which was mentioned in your post) Old Spice Deodarant: "Swagger". I make Jeff wear it, because the commercials are funny. But keep up the boycotting, I like your style.
ReplyDeleteKatie, I am the same way. A good funny commercial can sell me on anything.
ReplyDelete